A day of paradox

Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of my brother's untimely death. For the last three years I had a box in my bedroom that sat next to my computer....in that box was the notepad that I was scribbling information and numbers on as I received the news. I never used that notepad again, but over the last three years, I would get it out and read over my scribbles and remember my emotions.

Most of all, I was concerned for my parents. I had to make the call to them, then I had to get to Houston to take care of my brother's things...then I had to get back home and pack and get to Illinois as quick as I could, to be with my parents. Looking back now, I don't know how I did it, how it all worked out...but it did and time has past and life goes on.

Yesterday, I heard the heartbeat of my grand baby. Ashley had a doctor's appointment and went alone. How surprised I was when I got a text message and it was the audio of the heartbeat. Her doctor recorded it on Ashley's iPhone and she sent it to us.

Even though the day reminded me of a time of loss, how quickly my emotions changed when presented with the sign of life.

The bible is full of paradox, our lives are full of paradox.....I find it exciting to know that things change, for the good and for the bad, we never know what our day will hold. We do know this....God is unchanging and He holds our days.




To celebrate, I took Ashley out for dinner! I snapped this picture at the table, I can't help but see her as my "little" girl here.